OMG, I’m dead!
BREAKING NEWS: Early reports have come through with totally unfounded rumour stating that Curlydena died at approx. 21.48 on Monday 12th October. Cause of death is as yet unconfirmed but it is believed that I died in one of the following ways…
- Bizarre whisking accident as my curls became entangled in a hand whisk, whilst I was making Butterscotch flavoured Angel Delight
- My bra finally gave way under the strain of its contents, pinging up & flicking me in the eye whilst I was walking downstairs & thus causing me to stumble & fall, slipping on a lone, abandoned roller skate before face planting on the floor & sliding out of the front door which happened to be open and into the path of an approaching ice cream van, which squashed my lower left leg, which subsequently developed gangrene and then I got toxic shock & died
- The shame of drunken escapades from the Irish Web Awards on Saturday became too much to bear (more of that later though) and I spontaneously combusted.
My family are understandably fairly non-plussed by these stories and ask that you mainly ignore them. However should you feel the need to offer them some comfort, my mum really likes Bassets liquorice sticks and my dad likes sports, so you could pay for his Sky+ HD subscription if you like?
Curlydena - she lived, drank, swore & to this day still does not know who that random bloke stood behind her was. And does, in fact, still do all of these things because I'm not in any way dead.
Brilliant! I reckon it’s a combination of all three possibilities lol
This was at Jiveen’s yellow party! To be fair we did almost die from the toxic yellow paint and those fucking false eyelashes. Oh, and all the neat vodka too.
Please try not to die before we rock out Galway at New Year xxx
Love it Dena…brill!
Looking at this pic I’d say your liver has well and truly given up!